Whores, Assholes, and Children

So, last night me and a few friends made out to dinner and a movie downtown. Dinner (Spaghetti Factory) was delicious as always (although having to pay $6 to park for an hour and a half chaps my ass every time). But then we get to the movie theatre... and thats where it all starts to go downhill.

First, I have a ticket to be refunded from seeing A Christmas Carol in 3D, the first time, when a fire alarm went off in the middle of the movie and we had to be evacuated (a water pipe had broke in the parking garage...). Obviously, I assumed I would be able to get back the full price of the ticked, which was inflated due to the 3D price. But no. They offered me one regular admittance ticket. Or she said I could get a ticket to the same movie... My question is... WHY IN THE HELL WOULD YOU OFFER ME A TICKET TO A FILM YOU ARE NOT EVEN PLAYING ANYMORE?! So, I took the $3 dollars that I would never get back up the ass like a man and walked away before I kicked the shit out of the lady monkey style.

And things only got worse in the movie of our choice for the evening (Youth in Revolt). I had to go it alone to find our seats as Sara and Carolanne both had to pee like Seabiscuit. All but two rows had people sitting dead center (and like to be dead center) so I chose the closest one to me, meaning I didn't have to climb many stairs. But once I had situated myself, I realized my fatal mistake... the row of teenage girls in front of me. And not just ANY teenage girls... dumb ones... There is nothing worse than a stupid slutty girl. Wanna know how I KNEW they were stupid and slutty? I quote "Tell him we're making out! That will make him mad!.... Oh wait... he will probably like that. HAHAHAHAHAHAH. Do it anyway!" WTF?! I kill you.

Next, Sara starts to bitch because she can't put her feet up on the chair because of the stupid slutty girls below. So we decide to move over to the endish of the row so that we can. Our feet are up there, right? There is quite a bit of seating left. Some people come in and decide, "Hey, lets sit there!" And proceed to move toward our feet chairs. They sit down. I can tell Sara is pissed beyond words. She doesn't take her feet off until the girl is sitting down completely in the seat. Needless to say, we moved up a row and turned our butt seats into our new feet seats.

Finally. This is a R rated movie. So I was shocked when a bunch of fat 6th graders waddled into the theatre. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! 6th graders?! When I was in 6th grade, I was lucky to be watching PG-13 movies, okay? My parents would have NEVER let me see one in theaters. Sure, there were a few that if they watched them and thought they were okay, I could watch them. But NEVER before they had seen them first. What is wrong with you people?! I'm sorry, but some of the stuff that happened in that movie was shocking for ME! And I have seen a lot of shit! There is no way that those kids should have been able to see that movie. They are too young. They probably think they are sex gods now, too. But they aren't. They are still just fat 6th graders with low self esteem and metabolism.

Anyway! Thats my rant for the day. Hope you enjoyed it. Come again soon!