The title says it. I'm just gonna cut the crap on this one. Hockey boys are STUPID! (No offense to any that may be reading this, but if you are, lets be honest, you are too stupid to realize I am making fun of you.) I have yet to meet one who has a brain bigger than Lance Armstrongs one nut.
I am talking about this because there are two kids in my english class that are on the Eastern hockey team. And they are the most retarded unretarded human beings I have ever laid eyes on. There are SO many things wrong with them, that I feel the need to start a list:
1. They think they are comedians. WHICH THEY MOST CERTAINLY ARE NOT! I have yet to hear anything out of their mouths that is remotely funny or even interesting. Mostly just annoying.
2. They smell. No kidding. This is not speculation or me just wishing they smelled bad to make me feel better about doing this. They honest to God smell like a pile of horse manure. Take a damn shower you idiots! We are WAY past this "We don't need deodorant" pre-teen thing. We are adults. We SHOWER now you f**k heads.
3. One of them is writing their research essay on kids that disrupt classes in school........... AM I MISSING SOMETHING HERE?! Is this some sort of sick ironic joke, that you are one of the assholes that disrupt the class with mindless shit that flows out of your mouth?
4. They are ugly. One of them looks like Tyler Wood. Nuf said. This is not me being judgmental, this is merely an observation. Seriously. They both look like they have been beat in the face with an ugly sick once or twice.... or 10 times.
The items listed above seem to be a general requirement for hockey players. I have yet to meet one that wasn't completely illiterate or a douche.
Thanks for reading! Until next time!
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Friday, February 26, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Little Orange Girls and SheMan Goths
So, you can tell its almost spring time around campus here at Eastern Washington University because all the little blonde girls are getting there pre-summer tan on! And by pre-summer tan I mean they are starting to look like oompa loompas (classic style, of course, because retro is in)!
It really is kind of shocking that ANYONE would think that being faked and baked to the point of charring your skin to a color of the rainbow would be remotely attractive or appealing. (Okay, sidetrack! Sitting in the library, about FIVE little orange girls just passed me! I hope its not something in the water...?) Seriously, I like orange juice, but not in human form. I just don't understand how someone can look in the mirror at that point and say to yourself, "Yeah. This looks good." It doesn't. Unless your a drunk frat boy who REALLY likes oranges or... traffic cones... But, as already implied, I am not in most of these girls demographic if you know what I mean. Example, I am not drunk, stupid, really attractive, or color blind.
Also! I have seen this... thing? now a few times and have meant to write about it before, but never got around to it. There is this man/woman goth that roams campus here. I honestly have NO idea what the gender is. The face is kind of mannish but also has some softer features. And the clothes are too black and baggy to notice if there are any discernible breasts.
These androgynous types scare me, to be completely honest. You don't know what you are dealing with so you are left completely vulnerable. Is it too much to ask to wear a bow in your hair perhaps? Or if you are male, TRY to have a little five o'clock shadow?
Welp, that is it for today! Thanks for reading and spread the word! Tell your friends! Until next time!
It really is kind of shocking that ANYONE would think that being faked and baked to the point of charring your skin to a color of the rainbow would be remotely attractive or appealing. (Okay, sidetrack! Sitting in the library, about FIVE little orange girls just passed me! I hope its not something in the water...?) Seriously, I like orange juice, but not in human form. I just don't understand how someone can look in the mirror at that point and say to yourself, "Yeah. This looks good." It doesn't. Unless your a drunk frat boy who REALLY likes oranges or... traffic cones... But, as already implied, I am not in most of these girls demographic if you know what I mean. Example, I am not drunk, stupid, really attractive, or color blind.
Also! I have seen this... thing? now a few times and have meant to write about it before, but never got around to it. There is this man/woman goth that roams campus here. I honestly have NO idea what the gender is. The face is kind of mannish but also has some softer features. And the clothes are too black and baggy to notice if there are any discernible breasts.
These androgynous types scare me, to be completely honest. You don't know what you are dealing with so you are left completely vulnerable. Is it too much to ask to wear a bow in your hair perhaps? Or if you are male, TRY to have a little five o'clock shadow?
Welp, that is it for today! Thanks for reading and spread the word! Tell your friends! Until next time!
Friday, February 12, 2010
Slow walkers!
Again, a month hiatus from my blog, and I apologize. I have been SUPER busy with a school this quarter and my new job (that I am loving, by the way). So, I hope to become more regular (as I have obviously said before), but I can't make any promises. BUT! I know one thing, I am here today and ready to rant!
With my increasing amount of less time (hehe..), I am starting to notice something that I noticed back in the good old days of the Freeman High School hallways. A topic on which I wrote an editorial for the school newspaper on. And though it was about "Hallway Etiquette", the same rules could easily be applied to sidewalks and pathways in an college setting.
1. When most people are walking, they generally do so with a purpose. So, that means, when you are not walking a with a purpose and are meandering along the sidewalk slower than a damn snail on a hot day, you are BLOCKING TRAFFIC! If you were a car on the road you would be pulled over for being an idiot. And it doesn't help that on large sidewalks you are always in pairs and on small sidewalks you are always a FAT ASS. Lay off the doughnuts and maybe if you walked faster than the speed of SMELL you might lose a pound!
2. If you are just STANDING there, MOVE OFF THE DAMN WALKWAY! You can stand in the grass while you grab your girlfriends ass or rifle through your backpack.
3. Don't smoke while you're walking. Your smoke goes right around and right in my face. If I wanted to die of lung cancer, I WOULD SUCK ON A FIRE STICK MYSELF!
Welp, thats it for today. Hope you enjoyed it! I have a few rants backed up, so hopefully I will get to them soon! Thanks for reading! Until next time.
With my increasing amount of less time (hehe..), I am starting to notice something that I noticed back in the good old days of the Freeman High School hallways. A topic on which I wrote an editorial for the school newspaper on. And though it was about "Hallway Etiquette", the same rules could easily be applied to sidewalks and pathways in an college setting.
1. When most people are walking, they generally do so with a purpose. So, that means, when you are not walking a with a purpose and are meandering along the sidewalk slower than a damn snail on a hot day, you are BLOCKING TRAFFIC! If you were a car on the road you would be pulled over for being an idiot. And it doesn't help that on large sidewalks you are always in pairs and on small sidewalks you are always a FAT ASS. Lay off the doughnuts and maybe if you walked faster than the speed of SMELL you might lose a pound!
2. If you are just STANDING there, MOVE OFF THE DAMN WALKWAY! You can stand in the grass while you grab your girlfriends ass or rifle through your backpack.
3. Don't smoke while you're walking. Your smoke goes right around and right in my face. If I wanted to die of lung cancer, I WOULD SUCK ON A FIRE STICK MYSELF!
Welp, thats it for today. Hope you enjoyed it! I have a few rants backed up, so hopefully I will get to them soon! Thanks for reading! Until next time.
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